TúyouThe informal you, for friends, family and people your age. or ustedyouThe formal you, for showing respect.? Being polite in Spanish

Here's a question that makes many Spanish beginners freeze: you meet someone new, you want to ask "how are you?", and suddenly you realise Spanish has two ways to say "you". Pick the wrong one and you're either too cold or too familiar. No pressure!

The good news for Hindi speakers: you already know this system. You use it every single day. Spanish túyouThe informal you. and ustedyouThe formal you. work a lot like "तुम" and "आप". Once you see the connection, choosing between them becomes much easier.

In this post I'll explain the difference between túyouThe informal you. and ustedyouThe formal you., how the verbs change, when to use each one in Spain and in Latin America, how to switch from one to the other politely, and the most common mistakes. There's a short quiz at the end. ¡Vamos!Let's go!Used to cheer someone on or get moving.

TúyouInformal you. vs ustedyouFormal you.: the short answer

• TúyouInformal, singular. is the informal "you". Use it with friends, family, children, classmates and people your own age.
• UstedyouFormal, singular. is the formal "you". Use it with older people you don't know, in formal situations, and with anyone you want to show extra respect to.

Both mean "you", and both talk to one person. The difference is the relationship: closeness or respect.

How verbs change with túyouInformal you. and ustedyouFormal you.

This is the part that trips learners up. UstedyouFormal you. means "you", but its verb looks like the "he" or "she" form. So you're talking to someone, but the verb is the one you'd use about someone.

The pattern is simple. For regular verbs, the túyouInformal you. form usually ends in -s, and the ustedyouFormal you. form is the same without the -s: hablasyou speakTú form. becomes hablayou speakUsted form., comesyou eatTú form. becomes comeyou eatUsted form..

Why does ustedyouFormal you. use the third person? Because it comes from an old polite phrase, vuestra mercedyour graceAn old respectful way of addressing someone., meaning "your grace" or "your mercy". You'd say "your grace speaks", not "your grace speak", so the verb took the third person, and it stayed that way when the phrase shrank to ustedyouFormal you.. In writing you'll often see it shortened to Ud.youShort for usted. or Vd.youAn older short form of usted.

If you'd like to learn these verbs properly, my post on Spanish present tense regular verbs will help, and ser vs estar covers the two "to be" verbs.

"Your": tuyourInformal your. No accent mark. vs suyourFormal your. Also means his, her or their.

The word for "your" changes too.

• With túyouInformal you.: tuyourNo accent: your, not you.. ¿Es tu casa?Is it your house?Informal.
• With ustedyouFormal you.: suyourFormal your.. ¿Es su casa?Is it your house?Formal.

Notice the tiny difference: túyouWith an accent: the pronoun you. with an accent means "you", and tuyourWithout an accent: your. without one means "your". Tú tienes tu libro.You have your book.Both words in one sentence. The accent matters!

Pronouns change in the same way. "I'll call you" is te llamoI'll call youInformal. with túyouInformal you., and le llamoI'll call youFormal. You'll also hear lo llamo or la llamo. with ustedyouFormal you.. Don't worry about these at A1. Learn teyou, yourselfInformal object pronoun. and seyourselfFormal reflexive pronoun. in the "what's your name?" question first, and the rest will come.

When to use túyouInformal you. in Spain

Spain is very relaxed about this. Spaniards use túyouInformal you. with far more people than many learners expect:

• Friends, family and children (of course).
• People around your age, even when you've just met.
• Colleagues, often including your boss, in many offices.
• Classmates and teachers in many language classes.
• Many shop assistants and waiters, especially younger ones, who'll use túyouInformal you. with you straight away.

Using túyouInformal you. so widely has a name: el tuteousing túThe habit of addressing people as tú.. There's even a verb for it: tutearto address someone as túTo use tú with someone..

When to use ustedyouFormal you. in Spain

Even in relaxed Spain, there are times when ustedyouFormal you. is the better choice:

• Older people you don't know, like an elderly neighbour or someone much older on the bus.
• Formal situations, like a bank, a government office, a hospital or a job interview.
• Customers, in shops, hotels or restaurants that are more formal.
• Formal writing, like emails to someone you don't know. My post on writing a formal email in Spanish has examples.

A good habit: start with ustedyouFormal you. for older people and formal situations, then follow the other person's lead.

TúyouInformal you. and ustedyouFormal you. in Latin America

The rules are the same across the Spanish-speaking world, but many Latin American countries use ustedyouFormal you. more often than Spain does: with strangers, at work, with older relatives, and in shops.

In some regions, like parts of Colombia and Costa Rica, people even use ustedyouFormal you. with close friends and family. There it can sound warm rather than distant.

And in Argentina, Uruguay and some other countries, you'll hear vosyouInformal you used in Argentina, Uruguay and other places. instead of túyouInformal you. for the informal "you". I explain this, and more, in my post on Spain Spanish vs Latin American Spanish.

So if you're travelling in Latin America and unsure, ustedyouFormal you. is the safer start.

How to switch from ustedyouFormal you. to túyouInformal you.

Very often, the other person will invite you to use túyouInformal you.. You'll hear things like:

• Puedes tutearme.You can use tú with me.An invitation to be informal.: you can use túyouInformal you. with me.
• Trátame de tú.Call me tú.Literally, treat me as tú.: treat me as túyouInformal you..
• ¿Nos tuteamos?Shall we use tú?A friendly question to drop the formality.: shall we use túyouInformal you. with each other?

If someone says this, take the invitation! Switching back to ustedyouFormal you. after that would feel cold.

You can also ask, especially with someone a bit older or senior: ¿Puedo tutearle?May I use tú with you?A polite question, asked in the usted form.. Notice that you ask it in the ustedyouFormal you. form, because you haven't switched yet.

And if you're the older or more senior person, you can offer it yourself. Spaniards appreciate that.

Vosotrosyou all, informalPlural informal you, used in Spain. and ustedesyou allPlural you.: talking to a group

What about "you" when you're talking to more than one person?

• In Spain: vosotrosyou all, informalFor groups of friends, family or classmates. for a group you'd call túyouInformal you. individually (and vosotrasyou all, informalFor a group of only women. for a group of women), and ustedesyou all, formalFor formal groups in Spain. for a formal group.
• In Latin America: ustedesyou allUsed for every group. for every group, formal or not.

For example, to a group of friends in Madrid: ¿Vosotros sois de aquí?Are you guys from here?Informal plural, in Spain. To a group of business clients: ¿Ustedes son de aquí?Are you from here?Formal plural. In Mexico, you'd use the second one for both.

TúyouInformal you. or ustedyouFormal you. at work

Work is where many learners feel most unsure, so here's a simple guide.

In many offices in Spain, colleagues use túyouInformal you. with each other from day one, and often with their managers too. Meetings with people you already know are usually relaxed.

With clients, senior people from other companies, or anyone you're meeting for the first time in a formal setting, start with ustedyouFormal you.. It's polite, and it's easy to switch later if they invite you to. A first email to someone you don't know is usually written with ustedyouFormal you. as well.

If you work with Latin American clients, lean even more towards ustedyouFormal you., since it's more common at work there. My post on business Spanish phrases for meetings has phrases you can use straight away.

Common mistakes with túyouInformal you. and ustedyouFormal you.

Using ustedyouFormal you. with the túyouInformal you. verb

¿Usted tienes hijos?Do you have children? (wrong)Mixes usted with a tú verb. is a very common slip. UstedyouFormal you. always takes the "he/she" verb: ¿Usted tiene hijos?Do you have children?Correct: usted with tiene.

Switching in the middle of a sentence

Learners often start with ustedyouFormal you. and then slip into túyouInformal you.: ¿Cómo está? ¿Y tu familia?How are you? And your family? (mixed)Starts formal, then switches to informal. Pick one and stay with it: ¿Cómo está? ¿Y su familia?How are you? And your family?Formal all the way through.

Forgetting the accent on túyouThe pronoun.

TuyourWithout accent. and túyouWith accent. are different words. In writing, the accent tells the reader which one you mean.

Worrying too much

Here's the most important point: if you choose the "wrong" one, nobody will be offended. People know you're learning, and they'll often just answer in the form they prefer. Listen to what they use, and copy it. That's what native speakers do too.

Test yourself: túyouInformal you. or ustedyouFormal you.? quiz

Five quick questions. Think about the relationship before you answer.

Keep going

Choosing between túyouInformal you. and ustedyouFormal you. isn't really a grammar problem. It's about people, and as a Hindi or English speaker who already juggles "तुम" and "आप", you're better prepared than you think. Listen to how people speak to you, copy them, and don't stress about small slips. Poco a pocoLittle by littleProgress comes step by step., it becomes instinct.

If you'd like to practise real conversations with both forms, join one of my live A1 batches on Google Meet. Groups have up to 5 students, so you'll get to speak in every class. And next, see how Spaniards actually say hello, where túyouInformal you. and ustedyouFormal you. show up in your very first sentence. ¡Hasta pronto!See you soon!A warm goodbye.